To Be Something
by OfTheIronwilled
Summary: When I ran away from home to go on my journey, the only thing I can remember thinking is that I would finally be something. A somebody, instead of just another face in the crowd. I never could have expected Unova to be so cold and unforgiving, that the pokemon I fought so hard with could and would easily die... if I had... I think I would have rather been a nobody instead. Nuzlocke


**Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon or any of the characters portrayed in this story.**

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**To Be Something: Introduction - Little Runaway**

In the dark of my room, I held a pokeball in my hand. And I was going to leave, and run away. Go on a journey. I-I was going to, wasn't I? But I couldn't...

Hours ago, Professor Juniper had come to my house, a decorated box and a red square called a pokedex in her hands, and she had given me both in order to start a journey of my very own. My mom had said no to this, like I knew she would, and said that I was only ten and too young, even though that was the official age in which I would get my license. That she wouldn't dare let me leave on my own like this until I was older and more experienced, but she would let me keep the pokeball if I promised to take care of the pokemon inside... but now...

I dragged a hand through my hair, and I could tell that it was shaking. I-I wasn't really doing this, was I? I had all of my stuff packed away in my bag, and my hat fit snug on top of my washed and brushed hair. But I couldn't leave! I-I just couldn't! Why had I thought of it anyway - if my mom found out, then she would have been furious with me. A-And it was so selfish and stupid. I was the only thing that my mom really had, and I had never even gotten in trouble before. No groundings, no spanking when I was little... I was supposed to be... supposed to be _good _kid, wasn't I? And now this... I was being rebellious, and going against my mom even though she worked so very, very hard for me, and if something happened to me in the middle of the night, she would blame herself, and... and if she caught me, found me if I did leave... she... _everyone_... they would be disappointed in me... they would never trust me again and I would _deserve _it...

I cupped my hands around the red and white pokeball in my hands, bringing my lips to it, tears of shame dripping down my cheeks in a warm waterfall and a sob ripping through my throat. I could practically feel my little pokemon's spirit inside. It was an Oshawott, and the cutest thing I had ever seen, though I could tell by the way she kept herself upright and shown a twinkle in her eyes that she was a little warrior. She wanted to fight. To be something. Xena. My little Xena, a warrior princess who could never fight. It wasn't right. Wasn't fair.

And I was crying, too, like I had been for the last hour or so while packing for the "journey" - a stupid, idiot crybaby like I always was. Xena was the one who wouldn't get to really live if I didn't do this, and I was the one sobbing my eyes out. I was pathetic, selfish, stupid; I didn't deserve the trust I already had after thinking about this... No. No, I couldn't act like this. I was leaving, right? Because of Xena... b-because I wanted to go on a journey. I had to be confident. Couldn't think about what ifs. I just had to do this, and if I felt bad later then it would be my responsibility.

Every bone throughout the length of my body shaking and my hair sticking messily against my wet face, I stood up stiffly and stared into the mirror in the milky and dull glow of a little Pikachu light plugged into the wall. My hair, I could see, was brown, dark and fluffy and stuffed underneath my white and pink hat, and pulled into a large ponytail in the back, leaving two large locks to hang down in the front. My skin was pale and oily, my eyes a bright blue. My fist was balled up and my knuckles were turning white as I gripped onto the pokeball for dear life. A pack was thrown over my back, practically spilling over with extra pieces of clothing and a few boxes of food. This was me. Ashli Jay. A rookie trainer. I could... I could be strong... strong and selfless and...

Stupid. So stupid. But I had to go. Because if I didn't, then I never would. I had talked to my mom about a journey several times before this - I knew it wouldn't happen and she'd never let me go until I was old enough to live on my own. But at that point, I wouldn't have the experience needed, right? There were older trainers, of course, like those who didn't have enough money for a pokemon when they were younger. I could've been like them. Only then I would be a world behind everyone I knew. Bianca, Cheren... they would both have moved on with their lives and become successful by then, faces on billboards and followers constantly chanting their names across the blobe, and I would be another pathetic nobody lost in the pack who didn't know what they were doing. Just like always.

If I went I could actually be something. I wouldn't just be the quiet one that no one cared about - I could be the champion people looked up to, friends and pokemon surrounding me with love. And I liked that outcome more.

My finger twitched against the button of the pokeball, the thing exploding open in my hand and sending out a blinding white light which cut through the room like a knife. The light took form, becoming round, short, and pudgy, and then there was a little white and blue creature beside me in the mirror. At first, she scared me; I hadn't meant to let her out. And also at first, little Xena, her white head bobbing and her beady black eyes barely open, was confused, looking around and trying to figure out what was going on. It wasn't until she rubbed her eyes and looked at my backpack that she got excited.

Xena let out a little cheer, her mouth turning upwards, her ears poking up, and her eyes sharpening into determined slits. She lifted her paw and swiped the scallop of her stomach, slicing it through the air and jumping up and down. I didn't know Xena yet - I had only really looked at her once that day, when she let me scratch behind her ears - but I could tell she was very, very happy. And how could I say no to that? To something that was so hopeful, and would be both crushed and hateful if I even looked like I was about to say my actual answer - the non-stupid one? This had to happen. For me. For Xena. Both of us - I wasn't really selfish, right?

I forced my mind to go blank, looking at nothing but little Xena as I put the letter I had prepared for my mom down onto my bed and wiped the tears from my eyes. Cheren? Bianca? Mom? I didn't think about them - I couldn't. If I had, I would have turned around, snuggled under the sheets with Xena, and just pretended this never happened... went back to being nothing. Nobody. I couldn't be nobody. Not any more. So I didn't think. I forced myself to be, for lack of a better word, stupid. It was the only way.

I scooped Xena up into my arms even though she struggled for a few seconds, eager to walk herself to the next destination. Clipping her pokeball onto my fringed shorts, I went over the items in my bag again, making sure I had all of the necessities including food and water for the both of us. When that was done, and I had had one final snack from my bedside table before I was to go on my merry, parentless little way...

... well, my room, while being on the second story, was relatively low to the ground.

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**A/N: Well, here it is. There's not really much to say about it, with this being the intro/prologue and all, but this was still super fun and easy to write. It's probably not my best work, but the whole thing is just for fun anyway. And... did you guys like it? Were there any mistakes that you could see? I'll try to fix any typos you find and to update as frequently as I can, so you should see chapter one relatively soon. Until then... well, enjoy what's here... I guess?**


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